Support Becomes Healing. Healing Becomes Practice.
Healing from narcissistic or emotionally limited parenting isn’t an easy path, but you don’t have to walk it alone.
I built Mayhem Daughters for the women who listen to the podcast, nod along, and think: “I know what’s happening. I need help with what to do next.”
You may already understand the pattern. You may know why the guilt shows up, what boundary you want to set, or why a conversation with your mother leaves you doubting yourself. And then she calls, texts, gets upset, or pushes back, and suddenly what you know becomes much harder to hold onto.
That gap between understanding what’s happening and being able to live differently while you’re inside it is where Mayhem can help.
And over time, I have come to understand something important about that gap. So much of the mother wound shows up in relationship.
It shows up in the moments when you have to tell someone what you need, tolerate their disappointment, say no, ask for support, or let yourself be seen. Sometimes it shows up afterward, when you start replaying the interaction and wondering whether you took up too much space.
You can understand every one of those patterns and still need new experiences of being in relationship while you practice something different.
That has become a big part of what Mayhem is for.
I Didn’t Always Understand This
When I started this work, I believed deeply in insight. I still do.
I have more than 160 episodes of the Mother Mayhem podcast because I believe daughters deserve good information, language for what happened to them, and meaningful help.
You can do an enormous amount of this work on your own.
But over the years, I started noticing something in the daughters who kept showing up with one another. They weren’t only understanding themselves differently. They were learning how to be in relationship differently.
They were saying the things they were scared to say, asking for support, and letting themselves be seen. Over time, they were learning that they could take up space without being too much, survive someone else’s disappointment, and receive kindness without immediately feeling like they had to earn it back.
Daughters were trying things in their actual lives, coming back to talk about what happened, and trying again. That changed the way I thought about this work.
And it changed Mayhem.
Guided Healing in Community
Mayhem Daughters is a trauma-informed group coaching and support community for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers.
Group is now at the center of what we do.
You bring what is actually happening in your life into the room, whether that is a boundary you want to set, the guilt that showed up after you finally said no, a family interaction that left you questioning yourself again, or a relationship where you know you are disappearing but cannot quite figure out how to stop.
We slow it down together.
I might help you understand what is happening, offer perspective, challenge the way you are seeing something, or encourage you to try something different.
I want you out in your actual life doing the damn things you want to be doing.
I want to help you get the boundary out of your notebook and into your life, cheer you on while you’re doing it, and then hear what happened next.
What You’ll Find Inside
Every week, members can join me for live group coaching on Tuesdays from 12–1:30 PM Pacific and Thursdays from 3:30–5 PM Pacific.
You do not need to attend every group. But Mayhem is built for daughters who want to use group, participate in the community, and let themselves be supported.
You can absolutely come in quietly and get your bearings. You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what you want to say or ready to tell your whole story.
But over time, I am going to invite you into the work.
Because Mayhem is not meant to be another place where you consume information about healing while continuing to do all of it by yourself.
Learning How to Be in Relationship
One of the things daughters often underestimate is how much the mother wound affected the way they learned to be with other people.
You may have learned to scan the room before checking in with yourself, anticipate what everyone else needs, make yourself easy, explain too much, apologize quickly, distrust your own reactions, and give support far more comfortably than you receive it.
Those patterns do not only live in your relationship with your mother. They follow you into friendships, partnerships, work, family, and the relationship you have with yourself.
Inside Mayhem, you get opportunities to practice something different.
You can ask for help and discover that needing something does not make you too much. You can share something vulnerable and find that it is met with care instead of being used against you. You can have a different opinion, receive support, take up space, and watch another daughter do something brave enough that you start to believe you might be able to do it too.
And over time, the women around you begin to know your story. They remember what you were working on. They know who you are trying to set the boundary with. They notice movement you may not see in yourself yet.
That continuity matters.
Support Between Groups
The work doesn’t stop when group ends.
Throughout the community, you’ll find conversations, reflection prompts, shared practices, Ask Heather, and opportunities to stay connected to the work between live groups.
You’ll also find two monthly BYOC decluttering sessions with Clark, occasional workshops and special events, and priority access to future Mayhem retreats and in-person gatherings.
I don't always want you working on yourselves, but I do always want to give you somewhere to return to when real life gives you something to work with.
Who Mayhem Works Best For
Mayhem tends to work best for daughters who already have some understanding of their mother wound and are ready to do something with what they know.
You do not need to feel brave before you join, be good at groups, or have your boundaries and your relationship with your mother neatly figured out. You can come in unsure and still be a good fit for this work.
What matters more is a willingness to show up, let yourself be supported, try something different, and come back after something goes sideways.
The daughters I have watched change the most inside Mayhem are not the daughters who arrived fearless. They are the daughters who kept showing up scared.
What You’ll Be Practicing
Healing your mother wound can mean learning to trust yourself, notice old patterns, set and hold boundaries, tolerate someone else’s disappointment, receive care without immediately earning it back, and make choices that are more aligned with who you are now.
Inside Mayhem Daughters, you’ll be working toward:
- Feeling more grounded when old patterns get activated
- Trusting yourself more in your boundaries, choices, and relationships
- Recognizing guilt and self-doubt without automatically obeying them
- Saying what you mean without immediately taking it back
- Letting your needs and preferences matter
- Receiving support without shame
- Staying connected to yourself while staying connected to other people
- Responding differently to dynamics that used to pull you back in
A Trauma-Informed, Judgment-Free Space
Emotional safety matters deeply here.
This is not a place where you will be pushed to disclose before you are ready or expected to perform vulnerability for the group.
You are allowed to listen. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to decide what belongs to you and what you want to share.
And when you are ready, there will be room for you.
Your Lifetime Membership Rate
Membership is $65/month.
Mayhem is now one all-in membership rather than separate charges for different parts of the community. Your membership includes both weekly live groups, the online community, Ask Heather, two monthly BYOC sessions with Clark, special community offerings, and priority access to Mayhem retreats.
The rate you join at is the rate you keep. As long as you remain a member, your membership price will not increase.
You Can Do This Alone. You Don’t Have To.
The podcast will always be there.
I will keep giving you as much useful, complete work as I can for free because I believe daughters deserve that.
But I have also spent years watching what happens when women decide they do not want to do all of this alone anymore.
They show up for themselves, do things scared, and let other people matter to them without disappearing inside those relationships. Over time, they begin learning that connection does not have to require self-abandonment.
That is the work I want to keep making room for here.
